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- The Employment Turnover of the Credits. “We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.”
- Weight Ratios and the Humble Swallow. “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” – Soldier. One of Monty Python’s calling card joke constructions is presenting an absurdity and then allowing a few characters to nitpick it to death with over-informed logic.
- Bring Out Your Dead. “I’m not dead” – Carried Man. Often misremembered as “I’m not quite dead” or “I’m not dead yet,” the old man protesting his placement on the plague cart is a deliciously dark joke done with great sincerity.
- Debating Government with the Common Folk. “Well, I didn’t vote for you.” – Peasant Woman to King Arthur. Is England a monarchy? A dictatorship? An autonomous collective?
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1. “Every time I try to talk to someone it’s ‘sorry this’ and ‘forgive me that’ and ‘I’m not worthy.’” – God 2. “Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.” – King of Swamp Castle 3. “Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no system for a basis of government. Supreme executi...
10. “Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.” – Bridgekeeper 11. “It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!” – King Arthur 12. “We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and Spam...
19. “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” – Soldier 20. Sir Bedevere: “Good. Now, why do witches burn?” Peasant 3: “Because they’re made of—wood?” Sir Bedevere: “Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?” Peasant 1: “Build a bridge out of her.” 21. “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart ...
32. “Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” – Dennis 33. King Arthur: “I am your king.” Peasant Woman: “Well, I didn’t vote for you.” King Arthur: “You don’t vote for kings.” 34. “Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you got that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma wh...
37. “Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise—not only by surprise but totally unarmed!” – Sir Bedevere 38. “You don’t frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!” – French Soldier 39. “You must return here with a shrubbery. Or else yo...
45. “Arthur, King of the Britons, your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.” – God 46. “We shall say ‘Ni!’ again to you if you do not appease us.” – Leader of the Knights Who Say Ni 47. Zoot: “Welcome, brave sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.” Sir Galahad: “The Castle Anthrax?” Zoot: “Yes...
58. “It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut.” – Soldier With a Keen Interest in Birds 59. “Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?” – Soldier With a Keen Interest in Birds 60. “Th...
Monty Python and the Holy Grailis undoubtedly one of the funniest movies ever made. The movie may appear to be senseless for some. But, in reality, it displays some facts about medieval politics, religious beliefs, traditions, and science as well! Strictly speaking, the Holy Grail is an important religious relic significant to Christianity. This is...
Feb 29, 2024 · Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 film about King Arthur and his knights who embark on a low-budget search for the Grail, encountering many very silly obstacles. Written by Monty Python, directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. And now!
Great memorable quotes and script exchanges from the Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie on Quotes.net.
- (91)
- Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, John Cleese
- 1977
- “I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
- “We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!” ― Graham Chapman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen.
- “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” ― Graham Chapman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen.
- “Tis but a scratch! " "A scratch? Your arm's off! "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy!” ― Graham Chapman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen.
Dec 3, 2020 · Monty Python and the Holy Grail's silliness is enough to lift anyone's spirits and these hilarious quotes have stood the test of time.
The best Quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 British comedy film satirizing the Arthurian legend, written and performed by the Monty Python comedy group. Frenchman: "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction!
