John Merrick
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Sep 20, 2019 · Learn how to cope with the emotional and physical pain of heartbreak, whether it’s from a relationship, a job, or a loss. Find self-care strategies, habits to build, and recommended books to help you move forward.
- Avoid contact for 60 to 90 days. According to Greg Behrendt, the brains behind He's Just Not That Into You, it’s important to avoid seeing your ex for at least four to six weeks.
- Don’t romanticize the past. It can be easy to replay those good memories on repeat—especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end. But for a healthier perspective, you really need to make the effort to see the whole picture.
- Fall in love with your life. Now is the perfect time to get back to you. What have you always wanted to do? What hobbies can you get back into? Take time to show up for yourself and fall in love with your life.
- Forgive them. Forgiveness is tough. But you don’t have to believe that what someone did is OK in order to forgive them. The point of forgiveness is that it frees you from the emotional burden of anger.
- Honor your pain. Romantic heartbreak often engenders strong and vivid grief reactions for many of the reasons described above. It is important to honor these emotional reactions and not discount or minimize them.
- Let go of false hope. Hope is a funny thing. It can be a life raft, something to cling to as we struggle to survive the tsunami of grief. False hope, on the other hand, can be the very thing that takes us down.
- Remove the drug. Like any addiction, the first line of treatment, when possible, is to remove the substance, which in this case would be the person or the relationship from which we are withdrawing.
- Beware of idealizing. Often, when you lose something or someone important, there is a tendency to romanticize or idealize the lost object—in this case, the relationship.
- Nancy Schimelpfening
- Don't Let Your Emotions Rule. Try not to view the end of a relationship as a failure. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to learn and grow. It doesn’t matter if it was your first relationship or if you’ve had others before.
- Do Take Care of Yourself. Good self-care is emotional, physical, and spiritual. You have your own unique needs in each area, but there are some general acts of self-care that are beneficial for almost everyone, such as a nutritious diet, regular exercise, a social support system, and strategies for coping with stress, to name a few.
- Don’t Get Stuck in the Past. We all tend to look back on our lives and relationships with “rose-colored glasses.” The effect of “rosy retrospection” is that you may refuse to see the problems and only focus on the good parts (which you’re likely to miss).
- Do Appreciate the Good Memories. Even if your relationship ended on a sour note, chances are, it was not all bad. It’s normal to look back at what was good about it, and you may find you miss certain things about your ex and the love you shared.
- Ambivalence. A million thoughts and feelings run through your head immediately after a breakup. At this stage, your heart and head play tug of war with your emotions, pulling you in different directions.
- Denial and Shock. Shock tends to set in soon after a breakup. At this stage, we’re in denial about the breakup and our emotions. “Denial is a protective mechanism that absorbs the pain as we slowly deal with a shifting reality,” says de Llano.
- Anger and Resentment. In the wake of a breakup, you may feel intense anger and resentment toward your ex. These are some of the thoughts and behaviors you may experience in this stage
- Bargaining and Negotiation. The bargaining stage is where we negotiate with ourselves and our partners ways in which we can change ourselves or our situation in order to regain the relationship, de Llano explains.
May 20, 2024 · Learn what makes heartbreak so painful, what you can expect throughout the healing process, and expert-recommended coping strategies. Discover how therapy can help you overcome the emotional, mental, and physical consequences of a breakup.
Jun 7, 2024 · Heartbreak is painful and it stirs up a whole bubbling cauldron of feelings and emotions that can be difficult to deal with. Learn to see the difference between regular sadness over a breakup and true depression.
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