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Aug 30, 2023 · A stepmother isn’t obligated to play nice with their partner’s ex, but a good stepmother understands the importance of that person’s role in their stepchildren’s lives. A bad stepmother would prioritize punishing their partner’s ex, even if their stepchildren also have to suffer from that choice.
- Try to Take the Other Parent's Place. Whether the re-partnering is a result of divorce, a breakup, or death, you can never replace the child's other parent and should not attempt to.
- Physically Punish Your Stepkids. A stepparent should never cross the line of administering physical consequences to a child. "Always refrain from losing your cool and hitting, swearing or 'losing it' with your stepchildren," says JoAnne Pedro-Carroll, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies to Help Children Thrive Through Divorce.
- Assume a Position of Authority. Young children under 5 or 6 may be more willing to accept a stepparent's authority in the new family, but school-age children and teens will often rebuff a stepparent's attempts at automatic authority.
- Interfere With Co-Parenting Discussions. It can be tempting to weigh in on a parenting discussion between your partner and their ex—but don't. "The ex didn't agree to co-parent with you and will likely feel ganged up on if you give unsolicited advice," explains Jenna Korf, a certified stepfamily foundation coach and co-author of Skirts At War: Beyond Divorced Mom/Stepmom Conflict.
Nov 27, 2023 · Here are a few common scenarios in which a stepparent might overstep boundaries—and some strategies to foster a healthy, beneficial stepfamily unit. An estimated one in four U.S. kids will live in a stepfamily by 2040, continuing a decades-long trend.
The answer: DISENGAGE. Or to be more straight forward, take a step back and let their Mom + Dad take the lead. In our family, when my stepkids were younger, I played a huge role in the everyday parenting. After setting the foundation and building relationships with them, I felt comfortable saying “No”, or enforcing consequences.
- Invalidation of feelings. Someone who wants you to go along with their desires might try to make you believe your feelings don’t matter. A family member might invalidate your feelings by
- Emotional blackmail. A family member using emotional blackmail will make a deliberate appeal to your feelings to try and convince you to do what they want.
- Gaslighting. A pattern of gaslighting often leaves you confused, doubting your memory, and questioning your perception of reality. Over time, this manipulative tactic can have a serious impact on your self-perception and mental health.
- Guilt-tripping. People often use guilt to get you to take responsibility for something that isn’t your fault. When you feel guilty, you’re more likely to do what the other person wants.
Dec 9, 2022 · Posted December 9, 2022 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. Key points. Step-parents occupy a role that may be more complex than the role of the original parent. Step-parents must resist working too...
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Jan 15, 2024 · Toxic step-parent behavior includes favoritism, manipulation, or excessive control. These actions can harm the child’s well-being and strain family relationships. Healthy communication, mutual respect, and setting clear boundaries are essential to avoid toxic behaviors and promote a nurturing family environment.
