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Jun 14, 2020 · A pick-me girl is a girl who seeks male validation by indirectly or directly insinuating that she is “not like the other girls.” Basically a female version of a simp.
Sep 20, 2023 · What does pick-me girl mean? A pick-me girl is a woman who obsessively desires male approval and validation, often at the expense of other women. Despite the word girl being used, the term pick-me girl is almost always used to describe an adult woman. The term pick-me girl is used
- Overview
- Pick-Me Girls: Who Are They?
- How to Spot a Pick-Me Girl
- Internalized Misogyny and Showing Empathy
1 Pick-Me Girls: Who Are They?
Tired of feeling out of the loop? You've seen it on social media and heard your friends use the phrase constantly, but what exactly is a "pick-me girl"? It's actually way simpler than you'd think, and we've got the inside scoop below. We'll walk you through what this phrase means and show you how to spot "pick-me girl" behaviors. We'll also explain why it's so important to show empathy and understanding (and never resort to calling someone a "pick-me girl"). To learn everything you want to know, read on!
Pick-me girls put down other women in order to be liked by guys.
She will lean into outdated gender stereotypes and put down classically "girly" hobbies and interests as a way of garnering male attention.
Someone who criticizes women to be liked by guys is a "pick-me girl."
You know that old saying: “Girls have got to stick together.” For some ladies out there, this is not a top priority. Pick-me girls care more about getting attention from men than giving basic respect to other women.
They may try to differentiate themselves from “other girls” by saying things like:
“Girls are so dramatic. That’s why I get along so much better with boys.”
“I could never be into that “girly” stuff like makeup and clothes. I’m just not really like other girls.”
"Masculine" interests and male friends don't make you a pick-me girl.
A pick-me girl will make fun of other girls, especially around guys.
Her goal is to look cool compared to other women. So when she’s around other smart, fun, awesome gals (like you!), she’ll try her best to drag you down. She may subtly try to embarrass you, make rude remarks, and all in all, attempt to make others think less of you (so not cool!). She might say things like:
“Oh my god. You’re wearing so much makeup. Why’d you get so dressed up for this—we’re just hanging out with the boys!”
“Uh, why are you going on about
again? That show is so boring and girly.”
“Why are you ignoring Connor? Didn’t you say you had a crush on him or something?”
Some women project misogyny onto others—and even themselves.
People are taught to judge and stereotype women from a young age; so much so, that some women end up doing this to themselves and to their own gender.
So yes, “pick-me” behavior can be harmful. But it’s a result of a culture of misogyny—one that hurts pick-me girls, too. That's why it's important to
You should never resort to calling someone a pick-me girl.
If you notice harmful behavior, try to gently expand the conversation without accusing this person. You might be able to get her thinking (and help her change her ways!)
Maybe she said that liking makeup is stupid. Try this: “Why do you think that? Makeup is fun, it takes creativity, and it’s a skill you can continuously improve. What makes it worse than skateboarding, video games, or sports?”
Nov 30, 2023 · The term is used to describe a girl who does everything for external, mostly male validation. Experts weigh in on the damage pick-me girl name-calling can do.
Apr 15, 2024 · A “pick me girl” finds their identity and worth by being chosen. She often jumps through hoops and changes her values, who she is, and her personality in hopes of being picked. The problem with this is that their need to be picked or validated is more about their lack of self-worth, so the perspective of the person labeling them may be skewed.
Jul 15, 2024 · pick-me girl (plural pick-me girls) (originally African-American Vernacular, derogatory) A woman who asserts that she is unlike (and sometimes better than) most other women, in order to gain attention, approval, or validation from men. Synonyms: NLOG, pick-me Coordinate term: pick-me boy
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Jul 24, 2024 · A pick-me boy, according to Urban Dictionary, “are types of guys that emotionally manipulate and gaslight girls by using self-deprecating language in the hopes of the girl contradicting them ...