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Jun 26, 2023 · There are some common symptoms that most often happen in people with cancer who are dying. All might not happen, but it may help you to know about them. Changes in body function. Extreme weakness. May have trouble moving around in the bed and might not be able to get out of bed. May not be able to do much for themselves.
- Be present, even if you don’t know what to say. It can be hard to find the right words to say to a loved one with terminal cancer. But often, showing up with a listening ear is far more important than knowing exactly what to say.
- Allow yourself to feel complex emotions. A terminal cancer diagnosis can understandably bring a variety of emotions. These might include sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, shock, hopelessness and existential dread.
- Avoid statements that compare or minimize someone's cancer experience. Lee suggests avoiding excessive positivity or statements that start with ‘at least’ when discussing terminal cancer.
- Help without being asked. “Let me know if you need anything” can sound like a helpful way to support someone with cancer, but it can also create work. “It puts the burden back on the person with cancer to determine what they need or ask for help,” Lee says.
- The Patient May Feel Like A Burden to friends/family.
- Patients May Not Want to Talk About Their Illness Or Answer Questions.
- Patients May Pull Away For Fear of Upsetting others.
- How Can A Friend Help Even If The Patient Isn’T Asking For It?
Many patients feel guilty about the impact their illness is having on their loved ones, and they may try to reduce that impact by distancing themselves and downplaying their needs. At the same time, a patient who tends to focus more on helping others may find it very hard to be the one receiving help.
The idea that they may be asked to talk about a very private, upsetting situation leaves many patients trying to avoid interacting with others. The patient may not know how to talk about how they’re feeling. In addition, patients who are more comfortable helping others may not have had much experience talking about themselves, especially on an emot...
Some patients find that when they talk about their illness, they end up having to comfort the person they’re talking to. To avoid this uncomfortable situation, they may avoid the conversation altogether.
Continue to check in on your friend even after they first begin treatment. Even if they say they don’t need help, ongoing contact shows your friend that you're always there to lend a hand. Don’t wait for the patient to ask for help; volunteer to do things, such as watching the children, making a meal or stopping by to chat over a cup of coffee. Pat...
- Listen first. Not sure what to say? That’s OK. Sometimes your friend may not even want to talk. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want you there. Often it’s enough just to sit quietly with your friend.
- Don’t worry that you’ll say the wrong thing. At some point you have to talk – even if it makes you feel awkward. There are no perfect words, but “What are you feeling?”
- Learn about the type of cancer your friend has. Cancer comes in many forms. Each can have different effects. Your friend may not wish to explain theirs to you because it’s draining emotionally and physically to do so again and again.
- Make sure the time is right for you to visit. A visit to your friend can boost their spirits and yours, plus give caregivers a much-needed break. Just remember always to contact them first and be sure they’re up to it.
Finding out a loved one has a serious illness like cancer can be distressing, sad, and even devastating. It can leave you wondering what you can do to help. Remember that there's no rule book when it comes to supporting your friend through a life-changing diagnosis.
Jan 24, 2024 · Terminal cancer refers to cancer that can no longer be cured with treatment. We’ll go over what this means for someone’s life expectancy and guide you on what to do after you or a loved one ...
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Jan 4, 2017 · If you feel your loved one is refusing treatment because of denial, or because of fear of undergoing treatment, talk to the oncologist. You may want to visit a counselor or support group together.