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Jun 26, 2023 · [show] It's hard to know exactly what will happen in the final stage of life and especially near death. There are some common symptoms that most often happen in people with cancer who are dying. All might not happen, but it may help you to know about them. Changes in body function. Extreme weakness.
- Be present, even if you don’t know what to say. It can be hard to find the right words to say to a loved one with terminal cancer. But often, showing up with a listening ear is far more important than knowing exactly what to say.
- Allow yourself to feel complex emotions. A terminal cancer diagnosis can understandably bring a variety of emotions. These might include sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, shock, hopelessness and existential dread.
- Avoid statements that compare or minimize someone's cancer experience. Lee suggests avoiding excessive positivity or statements that start with ‘at least’ when discussing terminal cancer.
- Help without being asked. “Let me know if you need anything” can sound like a helpful way to support someone with cancer, but it can also create work. “It puts the burden back on the person with cancer to determine what they need or ask for help,” Lee says.
- Overview
- What’s the life expectancy of someone with terminal cancer?
- Are there any treatments for terminal cancer?
- What are the next steps after diagnosis?
- Where can I find resources?
Terminal or end-stage cancer is cancer that is not curable. The goal of treatment is to make sure an individual is as comfortable as possible and to extend life expectancy if possible.
Terminal cancer refers to cancer that can’t be cured or treated. It’s sometimes also called end-stage cancer. Any type of cancer can become terminal cancer.
Terminal cancer is different from advanced cancer. Like terminal cancer, advanced cancer isn’t curable. But it does respond to treatment, which may slow down its progression. Terminal cancer doesn’t respond to treatment. As a result, treating terminal cancer focuses on making someone as comfortable as possible.
Read on to learn more about terminal cancer, including its impact on life expectancy and how to cope if you or a loved one receive this diagnosis.
Generally, terminal cancer shortens someone’s life expectancy. But someone’s actual life expectancy depends on several factors, including:
•the type of cancer they have
•their overall health
•whether they have any other health conditions
Doctors often rely on a mixture of clinical experience and intuition when determining someone’s life expectancy. But studies suggest that this estimate is usually incorrect and overly optimistic.
To help combat this, researchers and doctors have come up with several sets of guidelines to help oncologists and palliative care doctors give people a more realistic idea of their life expectancy. Examples of these guidelines include:
Terminal cancer is incurable. This means no treatment will eliminate the cancer. But there are many treatments that can help make someone as comfortable as possible. This often involves minimizing the side effects of both the cancer and any medications being used.
Some doctors might still administer chemotherapy or radiation to prolong life expectancy, but this isn’t always a feasible option.
Acknowledge your emotions
If you receive the news that you or a loved one has terminal cancer, you’ll likely go through a range of emotions, often within a short period. This is totally normal. For example, you might initially feel angry or sad, only to find yourself feeling a slight sense of relief, especially if the treatment process has been particularly difficult. Others might feel guilt over leaving loved ones behind. Some may feel completely numb. Try to give yourself time to feel what you need to feel. Remember there’s no correct way to react to a diagnosis of terminal cancer. In addition, don’t be afraid to reach out for support from friends and family. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, talk to your doctor. They can refer you to local resources and services that can help. Receiving a diagnosis of terminal cancer can lead to an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. Again, this is completely normal. Consider tackling this uncertainty by jotting down a list of questions, both for your doctor and yourself. This will also help you better communicate with those close to you.
Questions to ask your doctor
After receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, your doctor might be the last person you want to talk to. But these questions can help start a dialogue about the next steps: •What can I expect in the coming days, weeks, months, or years? This can help give you an idea of what’s to come down the road, allowing you to better prepare yourself to face these new challenges. •What’s my life expectancy? This may sound like a daunting question, but having a timeline can help you make choices you can control, whether that’s taking a trip, catching up with friends and family, or attempting life-prolonging treatments. •Are there any tests that can give a better idea of my life expectancy? Once a terminal cancer diagnosis is made, some doctors may want to conduct additional tests to get a better idea of the extent of the cancer. This will help you and your doctor have a better understanding of life expectancy. It can also help your doctor prepare you for proper palliative care.
Questions to ask yourself
How someone proceeds after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis involves a good deal of personal preference. These decisions may be incredibly difficult, but going over these questions with yourself may help: •Are treatments worth it? Some treatments may prolong your life expectancy, but they may also make you ill or uncomfortable. Palliative care may be an option you’d like to consider instead. It’s designed to make you comfortable in your final days. •Do I need an advanced directive? This is a document that’s designed to help you fulfill your wishes if you eventually aren’t able to make decisions for yourself. It can cover everything from which life-saving measures are allowed to where you’d like to be buried. •What do I want to do? Some people with terminal cancer decide to carry on their daily activities as if nothing has changed. Others choose to travel and see the world while they still can. Your choice should reflect what you want to experience in your final days and who you want to spend them with.
Thanks to the internet, there are a lot of resources that can help you navigate the many aspects of a terminal cancer diagnosis. To start, consider finding a support group.
Doctors’ offices, religious organizations, and hospitals often organize support groups. These groups are designed to bring together individuals, family members, and caregivers coping with a cancer diagnosis. They can provide you, as well as your spouse, children, or other family members, with compassion, guidance, and acceptance.
The Association for Death Education and Counseling also offers a list of resources for many scenarios involving death and grief, from creating an advanced directive to navigating holidays and special occasions.
CancerCare also offers a variety of resources for dealing with terminal and advanced cancer, including educational workshops, financial assistance, and expert answers to user-submitted questions.
- Listen first. Not sure what to say? That’s OK. Sometimes your friend may not even want to talk. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want you there. Often it’s enough just to sit quietly with your friend.
- Don’t worry that you’ll say the wrong thing. At some point you have to talk – even if it makes you feel awkward. There are no perfect words, but “What are you feeling?”
- Learn about the type of cancer your friend has. Cancer comes in many forms. Each can have different effects. Your friend may not wish to explain theirs to you because it’s draining emotionally and physically to do so again and again.
- Make sure the time is right for you to visit. A visit to your friend can boost their spirits and yours, plus give caregivers a much-needed break. Just remember always to contact them first and be sure they’re up to it.
Nov 17, 2021 · The caregiver and the person with cancer are likely feeling fear as well – fear of death, fear of losing a loved one, fear of the financial challenges that come from losing income and paying medical bills.
Everyone affected by cancer will have their own outlook – but for many, encouraging messages of support, love and hope can mean the world. Discover some of the most caring things to say, inspired by our online community of cancer survivors, thrivers and people who have been there.
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Nov 15, 2017 · Asking someone who has been diagnosed with cancer what caused it or why they got it might make them feel as though they did something wrong or something to deserve such an awful disease. Even if someone was a smoker for 40 years and then got lung cancer, you should never blame someone for their illness.
