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  1. Jan 14, 2020 · W. Somerset Maugham. "It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." Mark Twain. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”. Voltaire. “Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.”. Sydney Harris.

  2. Sep 14, 2024 · You will never get out of it alive.”. – Elbert Hubbard. 4. “I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”. – Bill Watterson. 5. “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”. – Graham Norton. 6.

    • “I once spent a year in Philadelphia; I think it was on a Sunday.” C. Fields. Starting off is W.C. Fields, the legendary comedian, who delivered this wry observation, capturing the essence of his humor and wit.
    • “He who can does—he, who cannot, teaches.” George Bernard Shaw. In his quote, George Bernard Shaw discusses the apparent distinctions between people with theoreticalknowledgeand those with actual talents and experience.
    • “Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.” Jerry Seinfeld. Here, Jerry Seinfeld makes a droll observation about lipstick, cosmetics, and accepting oneself.
    • “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” George Bernard Shaw. With this clever paradoxical quote, Shaw expresses his view on the nature of dancing.
  3. Sep 25, 2023 · 11. Your life never expires. “I’m a work in progress without a completion date.”. 12. The perfect balance of optimism and sarcasm. “Life is like the smiley face emoji. You never know what it really means.”. 13. A simple yet powerful quote about the beauty of life.

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    RD.com, Getty Images 1. “When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” —Theodore Roosevelt 2. “Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” —Tina Fey 3. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” —Edward Bergen 4. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s ...

    RD.com, Getty Images 23. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” —Ferris Bueller’s Day Off(1986) 24. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” —Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory(1971) 25. “Why, sometimes I’ve believed six impossible things before breakfast.” —Alice in...

    RD.com, Getty Images 36. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” —Elbert Hubbard 37. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” —Katharine Hepburn 38. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” —Ron White 39. “My therapi...

    50. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” —Stanley Hudson, The Office 51. “Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!” —Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants 52. “Your soul is like your appendix—I don’t even use it!” —Michael Kelso, That ’70s Show 53. “What am I scared of? I’m scared of the same thing t...

    RD.com, Getty Images 70. “True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.” —Edna Buchanan 71. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” —Oprah Winfrey 72. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend ...

    RD.com, Getty Images 87. “There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.” —Barack Obama 88. “Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.” —Robert Louis Stevenson 89. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life....

  4. Aug 1, 2024 · Funny Life Sayings. “Laugh and grow fat.”. “Learn from your tears and you will win laughing.”. “Be all you can be and live a good life — have fun with it.”. “It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get.”. “When the postman rings twice, don’t answer it.”.

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  6. May 30, 2020 · Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking, “If anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.”. ― Unknown. Siblings tell each other everything. Never expect a secret to stay a secret. When I say I won’t tell anyone, my sister doesn’t count. ― Unknown.

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