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Feb 20, 2024 · When you’re unsure what to say to someone who’s grieving but you want to say something, these 25 texts can give you a starting point. "I know that you're going through a tough time. I also ...
- 13 Things You Should Never Say Over Text Message
"Things get misunderstood over text all the time since there...
- 13 Things You Should Never Say Over Text Message
- Overview
- Express your sorrow for their los
- Validate their grieving proces
- Give them permission to not respon
- Volunteer to help with something specifi
- Encourage them to share rather than make assumption
- Give them different ways to process their grie
- Share light-hearted memories of the decease
- Refrain from saying platitude
- Continue to touch base and see how they’re doin
Grief is a heavy and devastating burden to bear, which makes it all the more difficult to watch someone you care about experience it. A text can be a great way to offer support while still giving the grieving individual space during this difficult time. This text doesn’t have to be anything long or profound—all it has to be is a small gesture of yo...
It’s completely understandable and valid to not know what to say when someone is grieving, or to worry that whatever you
say won’t be enough. At the end of the day, expressing condolences isn’t about taking a person’s pain away—it’s simply about acknowledging their loss. With this in mind, don’t be afraid to directly address that the deceased has passed on in your message (using a word like “died”).
“I’m so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time.”
“I was devastated to hear about your father’s passing. Words cannot express the sorrow I feel for you and your brother right now.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that your partner died, and am sending you so much love and support in the coming days.”
“My heart is broken for you and your family, and I’m so deeply sorry that you’re going through this.”
Grieving is an incredibly individualistic and personal experience. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to feel after someone passes, and it’s best to not imply that there is a “proper” way to grieve after a tragedy.
Instead, focus your message on validating and accepting whatever methods and means they choose to mourn in the coming weeks and months.
“I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through right now.”
“Please don’t feel like you have to be “okay” right away—healing takes time.”
“Don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t be feeling right now. Your feelings are valid, and you have every right to be feeling them.”
“Grief doesn’t come with a timetable. Take as much time as you need.”
A grieving individual will certainly appreciate messages of support, but they might not have the energy or emotional stamina to hold a conversation. Ultimately, the purpose of sending a supportive text isn’t to necessarily start a conversation, but to remind the grieving individual that they aren’t alone and that you’re happy to listen if they feel like opening up.
“I love you so much and am sending you so much support. Please don’t feel the need to reply to this—just know that I’m here and that I care about you so much.”
“Please put yourself and your mental and emotional well-being first during this difficult time. I completely understand if you don’t feel up to replying.”
“I am more than happy to listen and support you in any way that I can, but only if you’re feeling up to it mentally and emotionally. I completely understand if you need time to yourself right now.”
A generic “Let me know what I can do to help” is nice, but it ultimately puts the burden of responsibility back on the grieving individual—plus, the individual might worry that they’re being a bother. Instead, think of actionable ways to provide support that don’t involve asking the person for permission. If you do offer your assistance, make your question as specific as possible.
“FYI, there’s some DoorDash coming your way from the pizza place in town.”
“I made way too much potato soup for dinner and would love to bring you some. Is it cool if I drop it off at 7?”
“I’m doing a grocery run and would love to pick up some things for you. Is there anything you’re running low on, like milk or eggs?”
Grief is a really personal experience, and it’s impossible to truly understand how someone is feeling during a tough time—even if you’ve experienced grief before. Instead of making guesses about how they’re feeling or discussing how you felt during a time of grief, give the person space to open up and share if they’re feeling up to it.
“I can’t imagine what you’re experiencing right now. If you’d ever like to talk, I’m always here to listen.”
“I completely understand if you want to be alone right now, but please know that I’m here to listen and support you if you need me.”
“I care about you so much and am so sorry you’re going through this. If talking things out would help at all, please know that I’m happy to listen.”
While you don’t want to tell a grieving individual how to handle their feelings, there’s nothing wrong with suggesting different ways to channel and vent their emotions. You might offer to go for a walk with someone as a way to help them get exercise, or even send them a funny picture or meme to help make them smile. What matters most is that you pose these suggestions and activities as optional rather than mandatory.
“I completely understand if this isn’t your cup of tea, but have you ever thought about journaling? It can be such a solace to vent your feelings in a private and personal space.”
“Absolutely no pressure whatsoever, but I was thinking about taking a nature hike this weekend and was wondering if you’d like to come.”
“I was thinking about signing up for a pottery class this Thursday. Would you like to tag along? Totally no obligation or pressure!”
When a person’s loved one passes, it understandably feels like the deceased is now a taboo conversation topic. This isn’t the case, though—quite the opposite, in fact! Mentioning positive memories of the deceased can be a great way to
, as it reminds them that their loved one is alive in people’s hearts and minds.
“Remember when Sam took us sledding but forget the sleds in your garage? The look on his face was absolutely priceless.”
“I remember meeting your sister at a work party last year—she was so incredibly sweet, and was such a great listener.”
“I don’t know if I ever told you this, but Darnell always bragged about what a great cook you are.”
“Your dad was such a cool guy. Remember that time I got a flat tire? He changed it himself, and told me not to worry about calling AAA.”
When someone experiences a devastating loss, it’s not always easy to
Because of this, people often lean on platitudes (morally inclined statements that offer no real comfort) to show their support. Unfortunately, overly religious statements or comments on behalf of the deceased don’t provide any actual comfort; if anything, they might leave the grieving individual feeling judged and misunderstood. Instead, focus on validating the person’s grief—it’s okay if you don’t know what to say!
Instead of saying “This is all part of God’s plan,” say “I don’t understand why this happened. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Instead of saying “Your loved one is in a better place,” say “I hope you can take comfort in knowing how loved and cherished they were.”
Instead of saying “You have so much to be grateful for,” say “Experiencing such a loss is unimaginable, and I can’t fathom what you must be experiencing right now.”
Instead of saying “Your loved one wouldn’t want you to be so sad,” say “There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. Take as much time as you need to feel your feelings.”
While you definitely don’t have to text them every day, make it a habit to check on the grieving individual once every few weeks or so. Let them know that you’re still thinking of them, and remind them that they always have your support.
“Hey love! Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. You’ve been in my thoughts lately, and I care about you so much!”
“How’s it going? Just wanted to pop in and remind you that you’re always in my thoughts.”
“I know it’s been a little while, but I just wanted to touch base and see how you’re doing.”
“How are you feeling? I’d love to spend some time with you if you’re feeling up to it.”
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
- Carrie Weisman
- Lifestyle Writer & Contributor
- New York, NY
- Why Is It Important to Reach Out After Someone Dies? Reaching out to express condolences isn't the kind of communication we look forward to having with friends or family, but loss is a fact of life.
- Condolence Text Messages for Friends. Sending over my sincere condolences. Know that I am with you today, tomorrow, and always. My thoughts are with you and your grieving family during this time.
- Sympathy Card Messages for Coworkers. We send our deepest condolences to the entire family. May [Name] now find peace and rest. We were all so devastated to hear about your loss.
- Short Condolence Message Ideas. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Sending love and strength to my dear friend during this trying time.
Dec 30, 2019 · God bless you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m going to miss her/him too. I wish you peace and comfort as you grieve ...
Apr 26, 2023 · Here are some phrases to build from when thinking of memorial quotes. "Their legacy will live on forever." "Their memory will always be cherished." "They may not be with us in person, but their spirit lives on." "Even though they're gone, their impact on our lives remains."
May 18, 2023 · 1. Say nothing but bring food (so they don’t have to cook) and hugs (if they want them). 2. “I’m so sorry. If there’s anything I can help with, please tell me.”. 3. “When I lost [someone close to you], I couldn’t process what other people were telling me — unless it was irritating or insensitive.
Sep 21, 2023 · When it comes to someone whose spouse or romantic partner is dying, it can be hard to feel like you can offer them any real support. Here are some examples of what you could write to them: “I don't have any words to make this easier, but I want you to know that I am here for you in whatever way I can be.
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