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Because people should try to understand. People should treat each other with respect. People should be kind and loving and open. Because that would make the world feel safe. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: Should is always a trap. Things will never be exactly as we think they should be, and resisting this only causes us pain.
- Ask Yourself: Do You Know What You’Re Trying to Say?
- Figure Out If You’Re Talking to The Right Person
- Start from The Real Beginning
- Understand Why You Need Others to Understand You
- Find Out What’s Stopping People from Understanding You
- Don’T Let Your Opinion Represent Your Ego
- Don’T Let Emotion Influence Your Words
- Stick to The Current Conversation
Oftentimes when we find ourselves in an argument or a heated discussion, we stop talking with logic and rationality, because it becomes less about what you really need to say, and more about saying whatever you can as fast as possible. But before thinking that your partner or friend or anyone is just purposefully refusing to understand your point o...
It’s so disheartening to feel that you’ve made all your points and you’ve said exactly what needs to be said, but your partner in this discussion still doesn’t agree with what you’re saying. But you have to remember – for a discussion to be fruitful for both parties, there needs to be a genuine interest in participating in the discussion on both si...
Communication is all about truly sharing what you have on your mind. But what many people find difficult with total communication is identifying the difference between what they’ve said versus what they haven’t said but exists in their mind. When you begin a discussion with another person, you have to go into it starting from the point of, “I don’t...
Before falling into a pit of annoyance because no one around you seems to understand you, ask yourself this vital question: why exactly do you need other people to understand you? What is the “need” inside of you that needs to be satisfied? Is it really important that your partner, your mom or dad, your friend, needs to understand you on this parti...
When a person you love doesn’t understand you on something that’s important to you, it can feel like an ultimate act of betrayal. You can feel disgusted at the fact that they disagree with you on this topic that’s incredibly important to you, and it can taint your relationship moving forward, breeding quiet toxicity until you ultimately find a reso...
Having a loved one disagree with you can feel like a personal attack. Because at the end of the day it’s not just a disagreement on your opinion; it’s a disagreement on your beliefs and your values, which ultimately means a disagreement on how you choose to live your life. And if you let these thoughts fester, this all ends up going back to your eg...
If we were all masters of stoicism, there would be no such thing as an irrational or heated argument, because we would all know how to process our feelings before contributing to the discussion. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. Most of us struggle to some degree with separating our emotions from our logic; after all, we’re just human. So when yo...
The terrible thing about arguments is how easily it is to get carried away. Your conversation with this person – whether it’s your partner, a friend, a relative, or anyone other than a complete stranger – isn’t taking place in a complete vacuum, after all; you two know each other in some way, and there’s always going to be some history, probably bo...
- Lachlan Brown
- Know why you need people to understand you. I used to feel frustrated when my dad can’t see my point of view. To me, there’s more than one way of doing things and not everyone wants the same things in life, why does he always insist that his way is the right way?
- Understand how you contribute to the misunderstanding. I do have this habit, if I sense that the other person doesn’t understand or isn’t patient enough to listen to what I have to say, I usually don’t share that much about myself.
- Gauge whether the person is interested in understanding you. Not everyone is willing to listen or open to new ideas. Some are very fixated with their point of view and it’s really pointless to get them to understand.
- Let go of the need to explain. There are times when people are interested to know you, but they just don’t get you. There is really no need to get frustrated over that.
Nov 1, 2021 · Gauge whether the person is interested in understanding you. ..you can simply ask them. Let go of the need to explain. …it will be way less exhausting! Focus on your common human needs, not the differences. Remember when you’re the one withholding the comfort of understanding, it can imbue you with a sense of power.
Nov 28, 2020 · First, you can’t hold someone to account if you made a sloppy request. You’ve got to be clear on what you said. After all, you can’t put the blame the breakdown on someone else when you were ...
Feb 2, 2021 · These feelings and assumptions often lead to withdrawal, a common symptom of depression. The withdrawal strengthens the “no one understands me” belief. 7. Fear of rejection. People with rejection sensitivity are on the lookout for any sign of rejection and may misinterpret what other people say or do.
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Oct 5, 2018 · If you want, you can respectfully let them know where you stand, and how you feel about what they said. However, do not engage if it’s upsetting you or triggering your symptoms. This isn’t a public relations event where you need to gain everyone’s approval. This is your life and you’re the one struggling. Your energy and focus should be ...
