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  1. Prison is an example of how actions impact a person’s life. If someone breaks the law or decides to join others in doing so, those bad choices can lead to interactions with the police and, possibly, to spending time in jail or prison. But this doesn’t mean people who go to prison are bad people.

    • Should I Tell My Child When A Close Relative Goes to Prison?
    • When, What, and How Much Shall I Tell The Children?
    • The Following Steps Can Help You Prepare to Talk to Children About imprisonment.
    • How Can You Help?
    • Different Ways of Keeping in Touch
    • Resources For Children
    • It’S No Holiday
    • Kin

    As a parent, it’s normal to want to protect your children from bad news. At first you might think it’s better not to share the news that their relative is in prison. But keeping it a secret can be difficult, as there is no guaranteed way to protect children from finding out what has happened in some other way. Your child may already know and unders...

    There is no right time or way to tell your child, but it is best to get things out into the open as soon as possible. The age and development of your child will be important in deciding how much information and reassurance they will need. It is not always necessary or helpful to give children details of the crime committed. They just need to be abl...

    Step 1: Prepare for the conversation

    It can help to plan when you are going to tell children so that you are sure you have plenty of time to talk and answer questions without being disturbed. It may be helpful to tell them with another adult whom the children feel they can trust. Think about your goals. You may want to consider (amongst other things): 1. What your child needs to know about where their relative is and why they are there 2. What prison is like 3. How long they will be in prison and will they be able to talk to the...

    Step 2: Talk

    Children need to feel that they are listened to and understood. Listening to a child, offering reassurance, and trying to understand things from their point of view can help them cope with the situation. It may be helpful for them to talk to another family member or school teacher, as children may not want to cause more upset by sharing their own worries and fears with those closest to them. Before you have the talk, check to see if your child is open to talking with you at the time. You migh...

    Step 3: Follow up

    Remember, this talk is likely to be the first of many conversations about their imprisoned relative and prison life. As time goes on, it’s very important to make sure that you and your child keep talking about what’s going on and how they are feeling. Keep in mind that your child may hear things about your relative’s imprisonment from other people, which means that there may be times when you will have to help your child deal with people saying or doing things which upset them. You can suppor...

    As far as possible, help children stay in contact with their parent or relative. You can do this by: 1. Taking them on visits to see their relative 2. Allowing the children to visit with another family member or friends if you don’t want to take them yourself 3. Answering any questions as honestly as possible in a way that makes sense to them 4. En...

    Telephone calls– try to agree what time mum/dad will phone and make sure the child/ren are around. Leave time so they get to talk with them as well as with you
    Scrap book– encourage children to keep a scrapbook of things they want to share with their parent/relative when they get home e.g. photos, schoolwork and pictures.
    Letters– encourage them to write letters to mum/dad
    Pictures/drawings– younger children could draw a picture and post it

    Families Outside has developed a range of resources for children which can help them to explore their feelings about having a family member in prison and can help you to have an open conversation about what has happened. “My Diary”, follows the journey of a boy whose father is in prison. The book is a useful tool for anyone wishing to talk with chi...

    This filmwas created to support teenagers who may be affected by imprisonment of a family member, and raise awareness of the issues which can affect these young people.

    KIN is a creative arts project by and for young people aged between 14 and 24 years who have experienced the imprisonment of a close family member. Supported by Vox Liminis, members of KIN use their own experiences to design resources for other young people affected by imprisonment. To access these resources please visit their website. All material...

  2. It highlights the importance of reassurance that a parent going to jail is not the child’s fault. Resources are listed such as APF’s own children’s books, the Offenders’ Families Helpline, and agencies providing counseling.

  3. This booklet from the Children of Incarcerated Parents Network provides guidance for caregivers on explaining jails and prisons to children with an incarcerated mother or father. It covers the child’s feelings, common questions kids ask, letter writing tips for incarcerated parents, visiting tips, and the reentry process.

  4. Provide children with guidance about what to tell people outside the family. Should they say, “you’re separated” or “he’s away” or “in prison”? Every situation is different – so help children prepare for questions, teasing or offers of support from others.

  5. Apr 5, 2023 · 1. Find support with safe peopleYou can try talking to friends and family, but they may not understand what you’re going through, and you may end up feeling alone,” says Julia Lazareck, co-founder and president of Prison Families Alliance. Her brother was incarcerated for 15 years and died in prison.

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  7. May 10, 2024 · When he comes home, I want to employ him, because they say 50% of people in prison end up going back. So, he’ll join me as co-host on our podcast and we want to do a YouTube channel together.

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