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People sometimes start throwing things or slamming doors. They might threaten violence or become physically violent. ... Sometimes, adult temper tantrums are used as a means to manipulate others ...
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May 15, 2018 · Usually adult temper tantrums aren’t physical —they don’t involve kicking toys or jumping up and down screaming—although sometimes they do! My patient, Dan, has a temper tantrum every time ...
- Overview
- What might be going on
- How to cope
- Dealing with someone else’s tantrum
- The bottom line
Hearing the word “tantrum” might inspire visions of a small child flailing on the floor, red-faced, screaming, “I want it, I want it!”
Young children often throw temper tantrums because they haven’t yet learned to control their emotions or vocalize their needs.
But what about this kind of behavior in an adult friend, partner, or co-worker? It might actually be something a little different.
Adult meltdowns and rage attacks can resemble tantrums, but they tend to happen when someone can no longer cope with tension or painful emotions (not because they want or need something).
Trouble managing emotions
It’s normal to feel angry and sad when things don’t turn out how you hoped. But without good emotional regulation skills, some people have a hard time navigating those emotions in appropriate ways. Say you meet with your boss to discuss a promotion. Your boss explains that while the company recognizes your dedication and effort, they want you to get more experience before you take on more responsibility. “Let’s talk again in 6 months,” they say. Consider these two possible reactions: •You’re disappointed, but you quietly return to your office where you slam out a frustrated text to your partner. •“That’s ridiculous,” you exclaim, shoving back your chair so hard it topples over. “I’ve worked harder than anyone else, and you’ll regret passing me over.” You snatch up the documents you brought, ball them up, and throw them into the wastebasket with force, slamming the door on your way out. Not everyone learns to express emotions in healthy ways. People who learned to suppress emotions often experience outbursts when they can no longer push them back. Imagine a pot left to boil with the lid on. Eventually, the contents will bubble up and spill over, right? Emotions follow a similar pattern.
Depression
People most commonly associate depression with extreme sadness, low moods, and feelings of hopelessness. But depression can also involve uncharacteristic irritability and anger. Someone dealing with depression-related anger might: •feel extreme rage in response to smaller-scale triggers •become angry and “blow up” when things go wrong •have trouble managing their anger response
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED)
IED involves repeated aggressive and angry outbursts that can resemble temper tantrums. Someone with IED might lose their temper while driving, scream at others, throw things, or even punch a hole in the wall. The new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) lays out two separate key criteria for diagnosis: •Uncontrollable tantrum-like behavior, like verbal or physical outbursts of anger or rage, about twice a week for at least 3 months. These tantrums won’t involve property destruction or damage or harm to anyone else. •At least three physical outbursts in the space of 1 year. These explosions of anger will involve harm to other people or pets, or damage to property and belongings. Someone only needs to experience one of the above to meet the diagnostic criteria for IED. These eruptions generally come and go fairly quickly. They can happen anywhere, and you might feel exhausted or guilty afterward.
Experiencing meltdowns and rage attacks can be pretty upsetting. Even when you realize your reaction doesn’t really match the situation, you might feel powerless to calm down or react differently.
You might even notice physical symptoms, like:
•a racing heart
•tremors and shaking
•tightness in your chest
While rage attacks and meltdowns may not necessarily be your fault, they can still harm you, as well as the people you love. These tips can help you begin taking back control.
When someone you care about has tantrums or meltdowns, you might wonder how to best offer support or de-escalate the situation.
First, try to keep calm. This might be difficult if they seem to want to provoke you. If they say unkind things, you might begin to feel hurt and angry yourself.
Maybe they show their rage with the silent treatment; adult tantrums don’t always involve kicking and screaming.
Though being ignored might infuriate you, resist the temptation to blow up at them. Instead, take a few deep breaths, even a short break, before you try to respond.
Everyone gets angry on occasion. It’s not unusual to lose your temper and react with angry outbursts when you’re under extreme stress or pushed to your limit.
Still, unchecked anger can affect your health, relationships, and everyday life.
If you find yourself having more regular fits of rage or distressing meltdowns, it may help to get some professional support identifying possible causes and exploring helpful coping strategies.
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.
Oct 31, 2021 · 1. Anger is rooted in anxiety and fear. As with panic attacks and nervousness, anxiety is a culprit in combative behavior. Seeing anger through a lens of unaddressed anxiety can help us access the ...
Apr 20, 2023 · Any strong emotion can be a trigger for an adult tantrum. Experiencing a sudden surge of emotions such as anger, frustration, or sadness can lead to an outburst that may not be easily controlled. This could be caused by something as minor as being cut off in traffic or something more serious like the end of a relationship.
The causes behind adults with temper tantrums are as varied as the individuals who experience them. They stem from a complex interplay of internal and external factors, each contributing to the eruption of intense emotions. Let’s delve deeper into these triggers to gain a better understanding of what can lead adults to throw tantrums.
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May 10, 2021 · Since they stem from a lack of the ability to regulate emotions, doing the work to develop those skills can help. " You can prevent yourself from having an adult temper tantrum by learning to be ...
