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May 14, 2024 · I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it's not." — Everybody Loves Raymond. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." – Knocked Up. "A wedding marks the first day of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now.
- Jamie Cuccinelli
- “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
- "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
- “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
- “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
- “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
Jul 2, 2024 · Always forgetful. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” —Ogden Nash. Compliment your spouse with these creative and ...
Jun 20, 2024 · Funny quotes about love and marriage; Dive into a collection of funny marriage quotes for newlyweds and matured couples, filled with witty perspectives on the journey of love, featuring famous funny quotes about marriage and love. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond.
Dec 12, 2023 · 85 Funny Marriage Quotes. Marriage quote. 1. “When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.”. — Helen Rowland. 2 ...
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Jan 30, 2022 · Went to Lowe’s and bought a toilet” —Anonymous. “After about 15 years I finally figured out that she’s always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that.” —Barack Obama. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” —Anonymous.
