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Can a grieving person talk about Mom during the holidays?
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Dec 12, 2018 · “Hopefully the grieving person will be given permission to talk about Mom during the holidays. It's important to hear Mom's name, or how every year she would burn those turnips,” Rando said. “This is the way we include people who have died and have continued connections with them.
- Jessica Fein
- Forgo Tradition. The presence of your person’s absence can be too much to bear. The empty seat at the table where your mother always sat, your feeble attempt at re-creating the salad your sister brought each year, the lopsided football teams in your family’s pre-meal game—all these can accentuate your loss.
- Have an Exit Plan. If you’re going to somebody else’s home, figure out ahead of time how to leave if things feel too tough. If you’re comfortable, let your host know that this is a difficult time for you, and that you’re going to play things by ear.
- Volunteer. Helping somebody else is a great way to connect with others and find meaning during a time when you’re quite likely feeling isolated. Soup kitchens, toy drives, meal delivery—there’s no shortage of opportunities.
- Talk to Somebody. Acknowledge that this year will likely feel different and confide in a friend, a family member, a therapist, or someone you meet online in your grief group.
- Socialize as You Feel Able
- Limit Your Amount of In-Store Shopping
- Change Your Scenery
- Volunteer Or Donate to Charity
- Make A Plan A & Plan B
- Be Aware of Your Alcohol Intake
- Honor Your Loved One
- Light A Candle
- Don’T Rush Your Grief
- Talk to A Therapist
The holiday season is full of gatherings and parties. It might feel good to go to a big party with people you know and love, but it might also feel overwhelming. If you receive an invitation to a gathering, ask the host if it’s OK if you accept or decline at the last minute. Check in with yourself as it gets closer and do what feels right. Consider...
“Limit your time in stores during the first and even the second holiday season while you’re grieving. The holiday music and decorations could end up being a trigger. It’s certainly healthier to avoid crowds these days, anyway.” – Dr. Sam Von Reiche
“A lot of times people who grieve during the holidays, stay where they experienced that grief which creates a heaviness of the grief, which leads to depression, and isolation. When you change your scenery you now have to develop thoughts on how you will engage with the things around you that may be unfamiliar to you.” – Shawndrika Cook, LPC
Part of forming new traditions could involve volunteering or becoming involved in charities. After all, the holidays are a time of goodwill and generosity, so these acts fit into the season perfectly. In the best cases, you can use your efforts to support a cause your loved one was passionate about.
Experiencing the ebbs and flows of grief often requires flexibility. Making plans can feel difficult because it’s hard to predict how you’ll feel on any particular day. Making a Plan A and Plan B can help you better honor your capacity and allow the ebbs and flows of grief to be experienced more freely. For example, Plan A might include attending a...
The holiday season can be correlated with an increase in alcohol consumption. This is a common way people try to self-medicate or modify their emotional state. When you’re grieving, the intensity of your feelings may make alcohol feel like a particularly welcome escape, and the frequent abundance of it during the holidays may make it easier to indu...
There are many ways you can remember and honor your loved one during the holiday season. Be creative and check in with yourself about what feels right. It can be helpful to communicate plans for remembering your loved one with other family members and friends who are grieving the loss as well. Be sure to include children. Here are ideas for how to ...
“Lighting a candle in honor of your loved ones is a great way to deal with grief during the holidays. It allows you to be reminded that their light still shines as long as you are alive.” – Shawndrika Cook, LPC
“Try to remember that grief isn’t something you need to rush through or push away. Recalling fond memories of previous holidays when your loved one was here can be a healthy part of this holiday. Tears may also take a seat at the holiday table. Living fully and within your values even through a loss may feel challenging but it is part of a rich lif...
Talking with a therapist can help you identify and address any mental health concerns. A therapist can also provide a safe, non-judgemental space to process your grief, offering tools and perspectives that are tailored for your experience. Grief, especially traumatic grief, can sometimes trigger or exacerbate mental health conditions such anxiety a...
Nov 1, 2022 · If you're feeling grief this holiday season, know that you're not alone. It can be particularly difficult to deal with grief during the holidays. Holiday traditions may serve as a reminder of what has been lost, and the happiness of others can make grieving individuals feel isolated and alone.
Dec 11, 2022 · The holidays may intensify your longings for people who have died. Holidays can bring up feelings about losses that happened long ago. Acknowledging within oneself and with your family the...
Nov 17, 2023 · How to Get Through the Holidays When You’re Grieving. It won’t be the same, but you will be okay. By Jenna Ryu. November 17, 2023. CSA-Printstock/Getty Images/Amanda K Bailey. All products are...
Nov 29, 2022 · Grieving a loved one during the holidays can be especially challenging, partly because the person's absence forever changes longstanding rituals. Not everyone experiences grief in the...
