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When you’ve said you will do something, do it. But if you’re sick, the most helpful thing you can do is keep your cold or flu germs to yourself. Reschedule the help you’ve offered or see if someone else can fill in for you.
- Control your emotions, but be honest. When someone receives a diagnosis of cancer, the range and intensity of emotions can be overwhelming. Controlling your own emotions may be difficult, but your emotional stability is what your family member needs now.
- Listen. It can be hard to know what to say and when to say it. Listening is sometimes the best thing you can do for your family member. This allows them to feel heard, understood and valued.
- Expect a range of responses and emotions. A cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence for many people. Depending on the diagnosis and prognosis, recovery is possible.
- Put aside family differences. Family dynamics can be complicated. Current and past conflicts or disagreements can come into focus during times of stress.
- Be present, even if you don’t know what to say. It can be hard to find the right words to say to a loved one with terminal cancer. But often, showing up with a listening ear is far more important than knowing exactly what to say.
- Allow yourself to feel complex emotions. A terminal cancer diagnosis can understandably bring a variety of emotions. These might include sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, shock, hopelessness and existential dread.
- Avoid statements that compare or minimize someone's cancer experience. Lee suggests avoiding excessive positivity or statements that start with ‘at least’ when discussing terminal cancer.
- Help without being asked. “Let me know if you need anything” can sound like a helpful way to support someone with cancer, but it can also create work. “It puts the burden back on the person with cancer to determine what they need or ask for help,” Lee says.
- Deliver meals.
- Help Keep Their Household Running.
- Give The Primary Caregiver A break.
- Drive The Patient to and from Appointments.
- Take Notes During Appointments.
- Visit.
- Take Care of Their children.
- Make Their Living Space comfortable.
- Give A Self-Care Gift Bag.
- Stay Connected.
Organize friends and family to take turns preparing and bringing meals while the patient recovers. You don’t even have to cook; you can get takeout delivered. Or you could take care of the grocery shopping, or order groceries online and have them delivered.
Cook, clean, mow the lawn, do the laundry, wash dishes, make sure the bills get paid, get the kids dressed for school, walk the dog and do all the things that the person in cancer treatment would normally do to keep life going for the rest of the family.
Go to doctor’s appointments in the caregiver’s place, help with the kids or pets, organize medications, or send the patient’s spouse, parent or child off for a massage or a night or weekend to unwind. This can ease the caregiver’s stressand give them the energy to keep going.
Even when treatment is over, drive them to checkups and scans. They may not show it, but cancer patients often have a lot of anxiety about these appointments, even years after treatment. A friendly face and someone to talk to can make a big difference.
Patients’ memories can be foggyduring and after treatment, and the amount of information they receive can be overwhelming. Taking notes during appointments or when the doctor or nurse stops by can ensure they have the information they need later.
Days can seem very long when you’re hospitalized, and a visit from a friend or family member can make a big difference. Just keep in mind that cancer patients often struggle with fatigue, so don’t stay too long – unless they ask you to stay longer.
Take them to school or sports practice, help with homework, or have them over for a slumber party or playdate. This can help take the kids’ minds off of cancer and ease their parents’ stress.
Patients who travel out of town for treatment may have temporary living accommodations in apartments or at the homes of loved ones. Consider bringing the patient's bed sheets and pillows from home or family pictures and artwork that reminds them of home. This can help them feel comfortable while they’re away from home.
Patients may struggle to prioritize self-care during treatment. Gift them a bag filled with unscented lotion, fuzzy socks, lip balm, a journal and other items so they can pamper themselves and feel good during treatment.
Text, call, email, etc. One idea is to coordinate a phone chain among friends. Each day at a specific time, a friend calls and checks in with the patient. This is a great way to let the patient know you’re thinking of them.
Caregiving. Caring for someone with cancer isn’t easy. The responsibility may feel overwhelming at times, but being a caregiver can be very rewarding. Learn More. Helping families living with childhood cancer. When a child has cancer, every family member is affected by the cancer diagnosis.
It’s not always easy to know what to say to a loved one living with cancer. Discover some of the most supportive things to say — as told by our online community. 6 min. read. If someone you care about is diagnosed or living with cancer, we know it’s not always easy to find the right things to say.
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Your loved one might have mental health symptoms during and after cancer treatment. Learn simple, daily ways you can support them, and yourself.
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related to: Can you help a loved one with a cancer diagnosis?Learn About An Alternative Treatment For Ovarian Cancer. Discover Additional Patient Support For The Treatment Option.
Support Healthy Public Policies That Will Improve the Lives of People Living With Cancer. No Donation is Too Big or Small, Help Fund Life-saving Research Across All Cancer Types.
