Ad
related to: How do you deal with mental health problems?Read about nonprofit organizations developing strategies that complement clinical care. Learn how the therapist shortage is only the tip of America's mental health care iceberg.
Search results
- Recognize you are not a robot or machine. Humans are beings, not doings. We’re not meant to be on 24-7. You are not above the laws of science, which emphasize the importance of breaks and replenishment.
- Practice mindfulness. Be fully present in each moment. Avoid rash judgment of emotions and sensations. Relish in the positive. Recognize negative situations will shift.
- Prioritize sleep. Sleep deprivation leads to poor moods, concentration, and health. Endless studies point to the critical nature of sleep on outlook, performance, and functioning.
- Avoid self-medication. Keep an eye out for hooks. If you crave or rely on alcohol, drugs, caffeine, or sweets to escape, numb, or raise your energy, it might be a clue you need new go-to’s to raise your dopamine and endorphins.
- Overview
- DO: Have a plan from the beginning
- DON’T: Make decisions without their consent
- DO: Set reasonable expectations upfront
- DON’T: Blame or shame
- DO: Name your needs and boundaries clearly
- DON’T: Personalize their behavior
- DO: Practice rigorous self-care
- DON’T: Wait until your resentment builds up
- DO: Kindly step back when you need to
No one — not even the most energetic among us — has an unlimited supply of emotional resources.
But I know how much we wish we did. When someone we love is struggling with their mental health, oftentimes our instinct is to throw ourselves into the fray… but without being thoughtful about what kind of support we offer, we risk burning out.
If you’re reading this, you probably know what I mean.
In my own history, I’ve been both the person in crisis and the supporter. And I know firsthand that when someone hits bottom, it’s hard not to get swept up in the intensity. We forget ourselves sometimes. We go all-in, just to find ourselves depleted and resentful.
I wrote this because, having seen both sides, I know just how difficult it can be.
It hurts to give someone every last ounce of compassion that you have, just to find them still immobilized by their despair, not seeming to get any better.
If you know someone is in crisis, the chances are high that they’ll need more than just your support, and they’ll need it for the long haul, including that of professionals.
Your loved one will need a strong network of care, as well as a plan if things should escalate. Thankfully, that’s something that can be organized upfront.
That’s a WRAP!
Many mental health professionals recommend that individuals have a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). This can include:
•phone numbers for a therapist, psychiatrist, and other relevant healthcare providers or healers
•contact info of family members and friends that can offer support
There’s a common assumption that people who are struggling with their mental health can’t be trusted to make their own decisions.
But most of the time, this simply isn’t true. Whenever possible, we should involve our loved one in any and all decisions that impact them.
This is especially true when we’re considering making decisions that could further traumatize them. Encounters with police officers — including wellness or welfare checks — can be terrifying, and in some cases, have turned deadly, particularly for Black people and people of color.
It’s best to familiarize yourself with local crisis teams and reach out to your loved one and others in their support system ahead of time to determine the safest course of action in an emergency.
If someone has called 911, take the following precautions as harm reduction:
•Request an officer that’s trained in crisis intervention (CIT).
Avoid overextending yourself or offering high levels of support indefinitely. You can do this by ensuring that your loved one understands your expectations of them at this time.
If you expect them to be in therapy, for example, you can ask if they intend to find a therapist and within what timeframe (assuming, of course, that they have access). If you’re expecting that you won’t be the only person they rely on for emotional support, ask who else is on their team and how you can support them in accessing additional support.
It can be tempting to criticize our loved ones when they aren’t making the choices that we ourselves would make.
For example, your loved one may be withholding information from their therapist, using alcohol or drugs to cope, or making impulsive decisions that appear to be making things worse.
However, blame and shame rarely motivate people to make changes to their behaviors.
What your loved one needs more than anything is unconditional love and positive regard. Rather than criticizing their choices, it’s best to extend support that they can then choose to accept if they feel able to.
For example, for a loved one who’s struggling with alcohol, you might say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’re drinking a lot more than usual and it’s worrying me. Can I help you find some resources and support around that?”
Helping them make better choices for their own well-being will do a lot more good than shaming them for the ways they’re choosing to cope.
You are allowed to have boundaries. In fact, you really should. Knowing what your limits are can help prevent taking on too much and experiencing burnout.
It’s hard to set boundaries you didn’t know you needed, though. And many of us don’t know what our limits are until they’re tested.
No one chooses to be in crisis, and a mental health crisis is not an accurate reflection of who someone is.
Defining someone by their struggles can have a deep impact on how they internalize what’s happening and their ability to recover.
A former friend of mine once described supporting me through a depressive episode as “being sucked into [my] world.” By defining “my world” as a dark and despairing one, I was left feeling as though depression was at the core of who I was, and that I was a burden on the people I love.
Our words have a tremendous impact on other people. If we want people to have faith in themselves and their ability to live a full life, we need to be mindful of how we frame their struggles.
This is a common refrain, I know, but it bears repeating: An abundance of self-care is critical when we’re supporting someone in crisis.
It can be especially helpful when we schedule it in advance, so we know when to anticipate a break and can protect that time by setting our boundaries accordingly.
Don’t wait until you’re resentful, burnt out, and fed up before practicing self-care and taking the time you need to recharge.
If you had a leaky pipe in your basement, you wouldn’t wait until your basement flooded to fix it, would you?
Have some TACT!
Before stepping back from supporting someone in crisis, remember TACT: Timing. Consider the timing of your actions. Do they have other support around them, and if so, can they commit to reaching out to them? Will your withdrawal result in a worsening crisis, and if so, is there someone within their support system you can alert in case there is an emergency? When is their next support group or therapy appointment? Confirm that they have the support they need in your absence. Accountability. Take accountability. This can be challenging for people, because sometimes we feel exhausted and resentful by this stage. But it’s critical not to blame the person who’s in crisis, the same way you wouldn’t blame someone who was sick with cancer for the stress that results from their struggles. Accountability means being apologetic if boundaries weren’t clearly communicated, not blaming the other person for things outside their control, and owning where you may have overextended yourself. Check-in. Setting a date and time to check in next can be helpful reassurance so that your loved one knows you aren’t abandoning them. It can be hard to feel like you’re losing crucial support at a time when you need that support most. Touching base is a great way to affirm for your loved one that they still matter to you, and that the space you’re taking is temporary. Transparency. It’s crucial to communicate your expectations and boundaries for the time that you’re apart, especially because they’re changing. If you need them to stop texting as frequently, say so. If you aren’t able to follow through on a commitment you made (like driving them to a particular appointment), let them know (see also: timing). Don’t assume that they can read your mind! Was this helpful?
- Sam Dylan Finch
- Know your limitations, but focus on your strong points. You probably can’t handle as much stress as other people. So maybe you don’t get as much done in a day.
- Figure out who will accept you. A lot of us are charismatic in small doses. That gives people high expectations. But when we can’t be “on” consistently enough to meet those expectations it feels like we’re letting people down.
- Don’t let people treat you badly. A lot of us are easy prey for abusive partners and “friends” who want to make everyone around them as miserable as they are.
- Get treatment. Please. Two of my friends committed suicide because they hadn’t dealt with their illnesses properly. You might be ashamed, but there’s way more shame in hurting people who need you because you don’t want to admit that you have a problem.
- Talk to someone you trust. Talking to someone you trust – whether a friend, a family member, or a colleague – can help. You may feel better if you are able to openly share what you are going through with someone who cares about you.
- Look after your physical health. Taking care of your physical health helps improve your mental health and well-being. Be active for at least 30 minutes daily, whether that’s running, walking, yoga, dancing, cycling, or even gardening.
- Do activities that you enjoy. Try to continue doing the activities that you find meaningful and enjoyable, such as cooking for yourself or your loved ones, playing with your pet, walking in the park, reading a book, or watching a film or TV series.
- Steer away from harmful substances. Don’t use harmful substances such as drugs, kava, alcohol or tobacco to cope with what you’re feeling. Though these may seem to help you feel better in the short term, they can make you feel worse in the long run.
Feb 15, 2015 · Try to eat healthy meals, get some exercise, and get enough sleep. Making time to do things you enjoy will help you keep your stress levels in check. You'll be better able to support your loved one if you take steps to maintain your own physical and mental health. Serious mental illnesses often present logistical challenges as well as emotional ...
People with mental health or addiction problems are not always willing to seek treatment. They may not believe there is a problem. Or they may feel that they can address the issue on their own, without treatment. The person may also have fears about the mental health system or concerns about the stigma of a mental
People also ask
How to maintain good mental health?
How do you deal with mental illness & addiction?
How do you protect your mental health and well-being?
Mental health includes emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It is more than the absence of a mental illness—it’s essential to your overall health and quality of life. Self-care can play a role in maintaining your mental health and help support your treatment and recovery if you have a mental illness.
