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Learn what makes a good friend and how to spot a bad one. Discover the importance of good friends for your mental health and social wellbeing, and get tips on how to find and keep them.
- The 13 Essential Friendship Traits. How much do you agree with each statement? I am trustworthy. I am honest with others. I am generally very dependable. I am loyal to the people I care about.
- Traits of Integrity. These qualities, represented by the first five traits on the list above, are related to core values held by most cultures—trustworthiness, honesty, dependability, loyalty, and, as an interrelated quality, the ability to trust others.
- Traits of Caring. These qualities, represented by the traits listed as numbers 6 to 10 above, include empathy, the ability to withhold judgment, effective listening skills, and the ability to offer support in good times and bad.
- Traits of Congeniality. This group, representing by the final three traits listed above, includes self-confidence, the ability to see the humor in life, and being fun to be around.
- They’re Trustworthy. Every relationship needs trust as a core quality, and friendships are no exception. “They’re trustworthy and genuine,” Jamie Gruman, Ph.D., professor of organizational behavior and author of Boost: The Science of Recharging Yourself in an Age of Unrelenting Demands, tells Bustle.
- They’re Supportive. Supportive friends are a lifeline. “Good friends offer us various kinds of support, such as emotional support when we’re feeling insecure and information support when we need to know how to handle problems or deal with ambiguities,” Dr. Gruman says.
- They Accept You As You Are. You’re probably comfortable around your good friends because you can be yourself around them; with others, you may put up more of a front or feel less comfortable.
- They Actively Listen. While any friend may listen to what you have to say, a great friend actively listens and engages with you. “A good friend ... asks questions and truly listens to the answers,” Susan MacTavish Best, friendship expert and founder of lifestyle site Living MacTavish, tells Bustle.
- A. Morningstar
- They’re Kind. You’d think this was a given for any type of human interaction, but kindness is often overlooked. We’ve likely experienced that “bend over backwards” kind of kindness that, to be honest, makes people a little uncomfortable.
- They’re Honest. Another of the main qualities of a good friend is that they will let you know when they’re hurt by you, confused by you, see you being foolish, and can tell when you’re hiding.
- They’re Individual. A sense of identity creates amazing bonds. Good friends aren’t trying to become you, they’re fully-realized unto themselves. Their sense of individuality plays off your own, and even enhances areas in both of you that may have gone unnoticed before.
- They’re Adventurous. Boredom is the absence of stimulation, be it mental, emotional, or physical stimulation. Good friends satisfy all three of those areas; they’re adventurous in that they like to do things, think things, feel things, and share in those things with you.
- You like being around them. First things first: You will like being around a truly good friend. That may seem obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people don't actually realize they feel bad around certain people.
- They boost you up. Good friends support you and lift you up when you're down, with Page noting they can be our biggest champions. And as Leeds says, "A good friend is also someone who is committed to their own growth and encourages growth in you," adding that they won't feel jealous or competitive with you, and they'll inspire you to be the fullest version of yourself.
- They're there for you. When the going gets tough, good friends get going. Just like our romantic relationships require effort, maintenance, and care, so, too, do our friendships.
- They share in your happiness and pain. The best friends in our lives are the ones who can celebrate our wins with us but also share in our pain. Page says you know you've got a good friend when you accomplish something and can tell your friend is truly happy for you.
Learn what makes a good friend trustworthy, loyal, and communicative. This article explores the key attributes that define a good friend and contribute to strong and lasting friendships.
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Aug 23, 2024 · 5. Give thoughtful advice. To be a good friend, you should be able to weigh your friend's situation from his or her perspective and to provide your opinion without insisting that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge your friend; simply advise them when they reach out. Avoid giving unsought for advice.
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