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Church conflict can arise over differences of opinion, disagreement with leadership, or instances of blatant sin. Each of these requires a different approach, even though all of them need to share certain basic principles. Any disagreement between church members needs to be grounded in love and gentleness (Ephesians 4:15).
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Nov 7, 2024 · How should Christians handle disputes (Matthew 18:15-17)? Answer. Christians have often turned to the principles of Matthew 18 for guidance in handling disputes. There Jesus says, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
Apr 6, 2023 · Complaints about the lack of care of a certain group in the church were taken up with the leaders. This was remedied, and the church grew (Acts 6:7). The early church used a conflict to improve the ministry. However, when churches do not have a clear process for dealing with such concerns, people tend to create their own platforms.
Nov 7, 2024 · Sin is the primary reason for disagreements in the church (Proverbs 6:12–14; 17:19; Galatians 5:19–20; James 3:16). Our pride often leads us to provoke one another (Galatians 5:26). When someone disagrees with our opinion, we have three choices: 1) we can stubbornly try to force our position, 2) we can listen and consider the other person’s position, or 3) we can agree to disagree.
- Remember The Golden Result
- Bring The Gospel Into Every Conflict
- Expose The Idols That Drive Conflict
- Guard Against Amygdala Hijacking in Yourself and Others
- Weave Relational Wisdom Into Your Church
- Communicate So Clearly That You Cannot Be Misunderstood
- Work Patiently with People as They Process Their Emotions and Experiences
- Don’T Be Misled by The Three Faces of Fear
- Practice The Three P’s of Satisfaction
- Constantly Build Passport
We all know the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” But do you know the Golden Result? It’s a direct corollary to the Golden Rule: “Other people will usually treat you the way you treat them.” Not always, but usually. Because that’s how God wired us. Blame others and they will usually blame you. Admit where you’ve been wro...
When Christians are in conflict, our tendency is to resort to “the law.” We love to use God’s Word to show where we’re right and others are wrong. This approach only drives us further apart. You can show your people a better way. Instead of bringing the law to others, bring them the gospel. Remind others of the forgiveness we all have in Christ. If...
James 4:1 provides a key insight on conflict: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” In many church conflicts, these passions are not inherently sinful. They are often good things we want too much. This gives rise to a downward spiral, which I often refer to as the “progres...
The Apostle Peter’s denial of Christ is a classic example of a neurological/emotional failure that today is commonly referred to as “amygdala hijacking.” As Peter demonstrates all too painfully in Luke 22:54-62, this process typically involves sudden, intense emotions that trigger an impulsive reaction that is deeply regretted. Most of us have expe...
When we get into a conflict, most of us have a tendency to go “two-dimensional.” We focus obsessively on our own righteousness and the other person’s wrongs. Back and forth, back and forth, and the conflict gets worse. Relational wisdom, which is a gospel-driven form of emotional intelligence, helps people to always view their relationships “three-...
Many conflicts in the church are triggered or inflamed by poor communication, often by leaders themselves. We know what we intend to communicate, but we don’t take the time to carefully evaluate and adjust our words so that they cannot be misconstrued. As one of my mentors once taught me, “For a leader, it’s not good enough to communicate so you ca...
People are always interpreting our words and actions through their own life experiences and emotions. As a result, a seemingly innocent statement in a sermon or conversation can trigger an intense emotional reaction in others. Our natural tendency in such situations is to defend ourselves and point out how unwarranted their responses are. That typi...
When people react to you with control, anger or withdrawal, it’s natural to become defensive and judgmental. But has that response ever helped, whether in your family or in your church? Probably not. You can break this cycle by realizing that control, anger and withdrawal are often triggered by fear. It’s how people instinctively react to protect t...
Whenever you are helping others work through a conflict, you are far more likely to see a positive outcome if you work diligently to provide them with “the Three P’s of Satisfaction,” which are: 1. Process satisfaction, which requires a fair, orderly, and even-handed process where everyone feels that they’ve had a reasonable opportunity to present ...
Every time you engage the people in your church, whether in your study or from the pulpit, you are either building or destroying “passport.” A passport is an authorization to go someplace you have no inherent right to be. In relational terms, it is the permission that people give to you to enter into their lives, to learn their secrets, to know the...
Sep 18, 2024 · Together, pastors and church members can follow the ways of Jesus, the Prince of Peace, in the various contexts of disagreement (Matt. 18:15-17). Here are some scriptural principles to help us handle conflict in the Church (1 Cor. 1:10). Disagreements don’t arise out of thin air; they are fueled by underlying beliefs, desires, motivations ...
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Feb 24, 2024 · They hold him in awe and listen to his agents. Fools are proud and imagine they “know everything” (1:1–17; 12:15; 26:12). Proverbs 9 leads to more principles for healthy disagreement. Principle 3: If we hope for healthy disagreement, we must be open to correction. Principle 4: Focus on the problem at hand.
