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- Learning to say no is a crucial skill to develop to break the habit of people pleasing. When someone makes a request or asks for your help, take a moment to pause and assess the situation. Consider whether you genuinely have the time, energy, and desire to fulfill the request.
www.simplypsychology.org/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser.html
May 19, 2024 · Although being kind and helpful is generally a good thing, going too far to please others can leave you emotionally depleted, stressed, and anxious. This article covers the traits, causes, and negative impact being a people-pleaser can have.
- “Let Me Get Back to You” Here is my favorite anti-people-pleasing phrase: “Let me get back to you.” It’s extremely hard to say no to someone else’s personal request; it’s even harder when you are a people pleaser.
- Add Delay. Stop! Just for 50 to 100 milliseconds. This small amount of time is all you need, according to a 2014 Columbia University study, to make better decisions.
- Start with Small Noes. Sometimes it’s hard to go cold turkey on pleasing people, so start with small noes. The easiest small noes are over chat or text since you have time to reply.
- Stop Saying “I Can’t” The biggest mistake a people pleaser can make isn’t not saying no, but rather how they say no. I can’t go to the party. I can’t do that project.
8. You feel more able to handle conflict. People-pleasers avoid confrontation to keep the peace. As you grow your self-respect, you will find it much easier to advocate and defend yourself from others. The reality is that confrontation and conflict are just a normal part of being human.
- Realize that you have a choice. Though it may feel like an automatic behavior, you actually have a choice. Awareness is often the first step toward change.
- Identify your priorities. Once you figure out what your priorities are and what types of people you want to be around, it becomes easier to say no to anything that doesn’t align with your life goals.
- Set your boundaries. It may be helpful to think of boundaries as the outward expression of self-love. Once you know what you’re willing to do, communicate those needs with loving-kindness.
- Set a time limit. When you answer that call, let the other person know you’re on your way out the door. When you set up a date, let someone know you have to be home by a certain time.
Mar 1, 2024 · When you stop people-pleasing, you can establish clear boundaries that protect your well-being and prevent others from taking advantage of you. By asserting your needs and boundaries, you command more respect from others.
Feb 4, 2017 · Learn how to stop people-pleasing and start speaking up for yourself. Codependency and people-pleasing can cause you to “lose yourself” when you try to please and appease others.
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Sep 26, 2023 · How to stop being a people-pleaser. Realizing that you’re engaging in people-pleasing behavior can be difficult to accept. And even harder to change.
